Zombie attack...

I steadfastly refuse to believe that I am the only person to have considered what course of action I would undertake in the event of a zombie apocalypse...

...I doubt also that I am the only one who has become so embroiled in nightmarish daydreaming that they become temporarilly morbidly depressed when confronted, utterly out of the blue, by the shattering reality of how unprepared I would be and how quickly my thoughts would turn to suicide.

And when they carpet-bomb the cities I will not be safe regardless of how many hip technological gadgets I have stored in my shopping-centre foretress...

Welcome to Clockwork Tortoise !!!

You may have been directed here via a link posted at In Lamb We Trust. If that is the case and you are sickened by the lewd and informal environs in which you now find yourself then I welcome your departure and point you in the direction of the link above.

Now that we have cleansed the ranks of the bourgeois pigs we can get down to the serious business of ASSORTED LARKS AND SHENANIGANS.

Without further wasting of your time, I give you ...

... an incomplete and, frankly, barely started web page. Also one with no real plans for the future and which has made no provisions for its short term existence. Some of you may already be thinking that this is your sort of site! I urge those of you for whom the previous sentence is valid to have a long, hard think about your lives.